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Funny stuff part 3

Not a boolean
     (based on Blowin' in the wind (B.Dylan) J.Anslik

1. How many code must a man type in
   Before you can call him a man?
   How many C must a compiler process
   Before it can sleep in the RAM?
   How many times must MS-DOS crash
   Before it is forever banned?

R. The answer, my friend
   Is not a boolean
   The answer is not a boolean.

2. How many times must a man read his source
   Before he can see what is wrong?
   How many memory must his system have
   Before he can use 'unsigned long'?
   How many errors will it take till he knows
   That there's still some work to be done?


3. How many years can a program exist
   Before it's erased from drive C:\ ?
   How many years must known bugs exist
   Before you get an update for free?
   How many times can a drive move its head
   And pretend there's no data to read?


Programmer (based on SledgeHammer (Peter Gabriel)
    You could have some FORTRAN.
    I will write your subroutine
    You could have some C and Ada
    I will rev up your machine

    Why don't you just hire me?
    I'll code anything you need

    You can have some Pascal;
    You type 'IF' and I'll type 'THEN'
    You can have some Lisp code 'EVAL'-ing
    May the recursion never end!

    (I wanna be your) Programmer!
    Why don't you use my code!
    (Let me be your) Programmer!
    Just compile and load, no problem

    I can deal with SNOBOL
    I can even handle APL
    But I won't deal with COBOL
    No one can put me through that hell!

    (I wanna be your) Programmer!
    Go on and use my code
    (So let me be your) Programmer!
    Just compile and load, and run it
    Hey, look at ME! (I'm a) Programmer!
    An algorithms' man
    (So nice to be a) Programmer
    I'm raking fifty grand, just writing



    I dig assembler (dig assembler)
    Wrote my HEX2BIN
    I built the kernel (oh, what a kernel!)
    Put my drivers in
    (yeah yeah yeah) Load for me! (load for me)
    I will port you through
    Load for me! (load for me)
    I will port you through

    I want real neat tools!
    I wanna build compilers!  Build compilers now!
    I want, I want microcode!
    I want, I want microcode!


    Tap My Wire
       (based on Light my Fire (The Doors) M. Loss
You know that I would be untrue
You know that I would be a 'foo'
If I was to say to you
We couldn't hack ourselves to root

Come on hackers tap a wire
Come on hackers tap a wire
Try to set the mode-bits higher

The time to sit and watch is gone
No time to linger in the shell
Try to make crack-programs run
Yes we will make the tty's bell

Come on hackers tap a wire
Come on hackers tap a wire
Try to set the mode-bits higher

The Wall 2
   (based on The Wall (Pink Floyd) N. Torkington
"Another User in the Wall Part 1"

Root has flown across the ocean
Leaving just a memory
Coredumps from /bin ls
Root, what else did you leave for me?
Root, what'd'ja leave behind for me?!
All in all, you were just a pain in the ass,
All in all, we are all just pains in the ass.

"Another Brick in the Wall part 2"

We don't need no pull-down-menus
We don't need no rescaled fonts
No dark icons in the corner
Hackers, leave those Macs alone.
Hey! Hackers! Leave them Macs alone!
All in all it's just another WIMP up for sale
All in all you're just another WIMP up for the sale.

We don't need no fancy windows
We don't need no title bars
No MultiFinder in the startup
Hackers leave them Macs alone
Hey! Hackers! Leave them Macs alone!
All in all it's just another WIMP up for sale
All in all you're just another WIMP up for sale.


"Another Brick In the Wall Part 3"

I don't need no mice around me
And I don't need no fonts to calm me.
I have seen the writing on the wall.
Don't think I need any WIMP at all.
No!  Don't think I need any WIMP at all.
No!  Don't think I'll need any WIMP at all.
All in all it was all just bricks in the wall.
All in all you were all just bricks in the wall.

APPLE    Another Poor Product Like Eniac

IPHONE   I Prefer Hipness Over Network Excellence
IPOD     Idiots Price Our Devices

EPSON    Every Product Sucks Or Naps

ASCII    American Standard Code of Interference Injection
EBCDIC   Extended Binary-Coded Disastrous Interference Cause
EBOOK    Enemy of Book

RAM      Random Access Mistakes
RAM      Regularly Annoying Malfunctions.
ROM      Randomly-Ordered Mistakes
EPROM    Electrically-Positioned Randomly-Ordered Mistakes
BIOS     Basically Im Origin of System

CNN      Censored News Network

PENTIUM  Produces
         Understanding of

MICROSOFT  Massively

           Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers

SCSI     System Cant See It.
IDE      Inadvertent Data Errors.
PCI      Plainly Crap Interface
ISA      Incredibly Slows Access.
BIOS     Blatantly Ignorant Operating System
CD-ROM   Cancels Data- Regular Outage of Memory
         Consumer Device-Rendered Obsolete in Months
DVD      Daily Violation of Disk.

ISP      Internationally Slow Provider.

GIF      General Information Failure.
BMP      Blows Most Processors.
JPG      Jolly Phallic Graphics.

JAVA     Just Another Vague Architecture
         Just Another Vague Algorithm
         Just Another Vulnerability Announced

CLOUD    Complete Loss Of User Data
         Centralized Lock On User Data

When a programmer goes to bed he sets out 2 glasses on his bedside table...

One glass is full of water, in case he wants to get a drink.
One glass is empty, in case he doesn't!

Why did the Integer drown?

Because he couldn't Float!

package MS.pickpocket.utils

public class MSUtils {
  public static C# getC#(){
    return ( C# )new Java().clone();


   @author Ganesh Prasad
import org.religion.*;

public class LordsPrayer {
  public void pray() {
    // Our Father, who art in heaven,
    God ourFather = Heaven.getGodInstance();

    // Hallowed be thy Name.
    ourFather.getName().setHallowed( true );

    // Thy kingdom come.
    ourFather.getKingdom().setWelcome( true );

    // Thy will be done in earth
    // As it is in heaven.
    boolean isWillDone = Heaven.isWillDone( ourFather );
    Earth.setWillDone( ourFather, isWillDone );

    // Give us this day our daily bread.
    Bread dailyBread = ourFather.getBread( new Date() );

    // And forgive us our trespassess,
    // As we forgive those who trespass against us.
    synchronized {
       ourFather.forgive( this.getTrespasses() );
       this.forgive( this.getTrespassers() );

    // And lead us not into temptation;
    // But deliver us from evil:
    ourFather.removeTemptationListener( this );
    ourFather.deliverFrom( Evil, this );

    // For thine is the kingdom, and the power,
    // and the glory, for ever.
    for (;;) {
       Kingdom.setOwner( ourFather );
       Power.setOwner( ourFather );
       Glory.setOwner( ourFather );

    // Amen.

Touch tone melodies
My coun-try 'tis of thee Sweet Land of li-be-ty of thee i sing
5 5 6 1 5 9 0 0 8 0 8 4 8 4 2 4

Stran-gers in the night Ex-chang-ing glan-ces
4 8 8 4 8 4 8 6 8 4

Here comes the bride all dressed in white
1 3 3 3 1 9 6 6

Lon-don bridge is fall-ing down fall-ing down fall-ing down london
6 9 6 8 7 8 6 1 4 5 7 8 9 6

bridge is fall-ing down my fair la-dy
6 8 7 8 6 8 6 0 4

Twin-kle twin-kle lit-tle star
1 1 9 9 0 0 9

Ring a-round a ros-y a poc-ket full of pos-ies ash-es ash-es we all
8 8 8 6 0 4 4 8 8 8 6 0 4 0 4 0 4 4 0

fall down
0 4

mis-ter sand-man bring me a dream
4 2 6 2 6 6 2 6

Mar-ry had a lit-tle lamb, lit-tle lamb, lit-tle lamb
3 5 7 5 3 3 3 5 5 5 3 3 3

hot crossed buns, etc....
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