One-liners

People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues.
Chemistry professors never die, they just smell that way!
Schizophrenia beats being alone.
To err is human, to forgive is against company policy.
Jesus Saves Vishnu invests.
If you have nothing to do, don't do it here.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
There's no future in time travel.
After a number of decimal places, nobody gives a damn.
To be, or not to be, those are the parameters.
!!!DRIEW eb rehtar d'I  ?lamron eb yhW
"ASCII and you shall receive" -Z. Modem
"Croatia is free," said Tomasz acerbically.
"Good frozen pizza" is a contradiction in terms...
"I think not" said Descartes, and promptly disappeared.
"If it works, it must be obsolete" -Otto Date
"There's nothing like a good hard drive", X. Hollander
"Tourist Season" : When it's OK to shoot them.
((wrong && wrong) != right)
(A)bort (R)etry (I)nfluence with large hammer.
(D)inner not ready:  (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza.
* The best defense against logic is stupidity.
******* Illiterate?  Write for FREE HELP! *******
....and BTW, OTOH (FYI), IMHO, it's OK.
...BLACK HOLE - Where God divided by zero...
1024x768x256.... Sounds like one mean woman.
186,000 miles/sec... It's not just a good idea.  It's the law.
22091 newsgroups & nothing on...
24 hours in a day and 24 beers in a case.  Hmmmm.....
2B or not 2B, that is FF...
A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
A day without sunshine is like a night.
A diplomat thinks twice before saying nothing.
A feature is a bug with seniority.
A friend in need is a pain in the neck.
A liberal's generosity is limited only by your income.
A man without a life is like a fish without a bicycle.
A seminar on Time Travel will be held 2 weeks ago
A)bort R)etry G)et a gun and kill it.
A)bort, R)etry, M)arry her?
A)bort, R)etry, R)un like Hell?
A)bort, R)etry, S)wear?


AAAAA - American Association Against Acronym Abuse
ACK and ye shall receive!
ASCII stupid question, and you'll get a stupid ANSI
All I want is a little more than I'll ever get!
Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it.
Always remember you're unique - just like everyone else.
An armed society is a polite society.
Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?
As god is my witness, I'm an atheist.
Assassins do it from behind.
At least you can always use my code as a bad example.
Avoid software viruses - practice safe HEX.
BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding.
Back when I was a boy, we carved our own CPUs out of wood.
Beauty is only a light switch away...
Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
Blood is thicker than water, and tastier.
But then again, I like cold toilet seats.
Can you repeat the part after "Listen very carefully"?
Cereal Killer Strikes Again! Cap'n Crunch found dead...
Comercialism is destroying the economy!  Send $29.95 for more info...
Computers are not intelligent.  They only think they are.
Confucius say: man who step in it often say it.
Constants aren't; variables don't.
Dumb questions are better than smart mistakes!
Eat Crap!  10 Trillion flies can't be wrong.
Eat the rich, the poor are tough and stringy
Error Reading FAT Table.  Try Skinny One? Y/N
Error: No Keyboard: Press F1 to Continue.
Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid.
GOD is Real...  unless declared as an Integer
Hmmm... It's either very young cheese or very old meat.
How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
I am serious.  And don't call me Shirley.
I can type 10% faster in the nude.
I can't use Windows.  My cat ate my mouse.
I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!!!
I dated Betty Crocker, She was Moist and Easy!
I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it.
If sex is a pain in the ass, You're doing it wrong...
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.
It's hard to be serious when you're naked.
It's lonely at the top but you eat better.
Join the Army, Meet interesting people, Kill Them.
Kirk has 3 ears: left, right, and a final front ear!
Leftists are among the first to speak of their rights.
Life is uncertain...eat dessert first!
Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
Never eat yellow snow!
Poetry isn't obscene, it's per verse.
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
Remember when safe sex meant not getting caught?
Smile if you are Jesus
Smoking is a leading cause of statistics.
Strike any user to continue...
The future isn't what it used to be.
Welcome to Westworld, where nothing can go wornggg...
What color is a chameleon in a mirror?
What has four legs and an arm? A happy pitbull.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
When in doubt, mumble.
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
Why do we park in the driveway and drive on the parkway?
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
expert - anyone from out of town
friends come and go, but enemies accumulate
Never take a beer to a job interview..
85% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
BASIC programmers never die, they GOSUB and don't RETURN.
Every Titanic has its iceberg.
Fact of life #15: Heads bleed, walls don't.
Four food groups: Fast, Frozen, Instant and Microwavable!
I am always exact and precise (more or less).
 don't believe in miracles, I rely on them.
I either want less corruption or a chance to participate
I'm as confused as a baby at a topless bar.
It's been lovely, but I have to scream now
It's ok to laugh in the bedroom if you don't point.
Math problems?? Call 1-800-10x(24+13)-(64-8y)/2+36x-17
If life begins at 40, what are you supposed to do until then?
When in doubt, mumble. When asked to clarify, say "Trust me".
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
No main() No Gain!